Worst Way to Prepare for a Test

Teenagers get a bad rap. They’re thought to be rebellious and strictly against rules. As a teenager, I’m here to tell you it’s true! With the first taste of freedom, many teenagers what to go out and enjoy life without the burden of rules. In fact, many teenagers may go out of their way to break the rules. Luckily we’ve prepared for that in the following guide. “The Worst Guide to Prepare for a Test” is full of bad advice that unruly teenagers can safely do the opposite of. This guide follows the story of an unlikely protagonist, Jake, a freshman high school student who was just told he has a test in exactly five days.

As Jake leaves his final class, he is aware of a chemistry test in exactly five days. Like any generally over-achieving teenager, Jake believes he has more than enough time to prepare.  Obviously, the correct step for Jake would be to return home and avoid thinking about the test. In fact, it may even be a good idea to simply boot up Jake’s favorite game on his newly bought Playstation 5.

Under no circumstance should Jake begin to skim his notes in order to make sure he understands all the content done so far. Moreover, he should absolutely not make a list of concepts he’s unclear on nor should he make a list of goals that he wants to accomplish before the test. That would be simply preposterous.

With the second school day coming to a close, Jake quickly bikes home. This is probably a good time for Jake to call his friends and have a long-winded conversation going onto various unrelated topics and tangents. I’d recommend Jake spend many hours watching Netflix in order to catch up on the latest season of the Umbrella Academy which he inevitably fell behind on after a long day of playing video games.

Once again, it would be ill-advised for Jake to start making brief summary notes of all the topics covered in his class. It would be an even worse idea for him to review all of his content once more to ensure understanding. Most importantly, Jake should avoid coming up with questions or clarifications to ask the teacher the next day.  How to Study from your notes

As Jake goes to school on day three, he avoids asking the teacher any questions about the content and thus neither should you! In fact, the teacher has given Jake a review day (or a free period as he calls it) for him to relax in. Upon returning home Jake continues binging the latest season of the Umbrella Academy.

Day three would usually be crucial for most people aiming to do well on the test. This is the day Jake should be asking questions from the teacher about topics he isn’t clear, as well as finishing up the review of any concepts that he didn’t finish before. We advise that you should not do this. Most importantly, however, he should most definitely not work on any extensions to his learning during this time. Going above and beyond the expectations of the class would be unacceptable.

As Jake is given another work period in school to continue reviewing for his test, he decides to use the time to text his friend and confirm his attendance at the party tonight. Upon returning home Jake glances at his notebook (obviously empty) and decides that he’s prepared for the test. Heading out for the party, Jake returns home at 3:00 am, sets an alarm for 6:00 am and goes to sleep.

Many would say the day before the test is meant to be the day with some light review of all the concepts you had consolidated on the previous nights. In fact, some guides would even advise you to get a full 8 hours of sleep on this night, however, in this guide, I recommend getting the least amount of sleep possible! For those without a party to go to, we may recommend you cram all the material for the test in one night. It’s not like the brain thrives when it’s well rested nor does it need time to consolidate knowledge.

On the day of the test, Jake wakes up late, tired from the night before. Upon reaching his school, he promptly fails the test and walks away wondering what went wrong.  What to do in the test room

On a more serious note, this guide is full of horrible advice (mostly for those teenagers allergic to following rules). For best results one should strictly do the opposite of what was described here. In fact, the opposite of this essay closely mimics my ideal study habits before a test and thus constitutes my best test preparation method! Hopefully this was an entertaining way to indirectly learn about an effective test preparation method I’ve developed over the years.

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