Correcting Passages and Paragraphs

Correcting Passages and Paragraphs

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Directions

Below is a passage with numbered sentences. Read the passage carefully and then answer the questions that refer to the numbered sentences.

Passage 1 – A Personal Satellite?

Many of us are already so loaded with technology, we don’t have time to think about integrating even more! 1 In fact at this point it seems impossible to think about personal satellites now, just as we once thought about smart phones. 2  The reality of personal spacecraft is still in the realm of Star Trek and geeky space fantasies. 3

However, the days when each of us will have our own personal satellite are not far away! 4 And what is even more exciting is they will be available for the cost of an iPhone! 5 At least, according to Zach Manchester, the inventor of the nanosatellite KickSat.6 “I’d like to think of it as the people’s satellite,” says Manchester.  7 “We’re pushing towards a personal satellite, where you can afford to put your own thing in space.” 8

The KickSat, a 30 cm. long hardware pack, is a space enthusiast’s dream. 9
It contains the basics of a fully functional satellite. 10 Inside its compact design, the KickSat itself contains 200 more tinier satellites of cubic shape called “Sprites”. 11 The Sprites are engineered and programmed so that they can be tracked and communicate via radio signals with a ground station on earth. 12  Each Sprite is available for purchase and is uniquely named after the sponsors who support Zach’s project. 13 Anyone who has sponsored a Sprite will be able to track their personal satellite from a ground station installed in their balcony or roof! 14

Questions

1. Which sentence from the passage is an example of a sentence fragment?

a. 4
b. 7
c. 6
d. 10

2. Which of the following sentences should be edited to reduce redundancy?

a. 5
b. 4
c. 10
d. 16

3. Which of the following changes are needed to
sentence 2?

a. In fact at this point it seems impossible to think about personal satellites now – just as we once thought about smart phones.
b. In fact, at this point, it seems impossible to think about personal satellites now, just as we once thought about smart phones.
c. In fact, at this point, it seems impossible to think about personal satellites now – just as we once thought about smart phones.
d. In fact at this point, it seems impossible to think about personal satellites now, just as we once thought about smart phones.

4. Which of the following changes are needed to sentence 11?

a. Under its compact design, the KickSat itself contains 200 more tiny
satellites of cubic shape called “Sprites.”
b. Under its compact design, the KickSat itself contains 200 more tiny
satellites of cubic shapes called “Sprites.”
c. Inside its compact design, the KickSat itself contains 200 tinier satellites of cubic shapes called “Sprites.”
d. With its compact design, the KickSat contains 200 tiny cube-shaped
satellites called “Sprites.”

Passage 2 – Alvin Lee’s Guitar

Only a few of his contemporaries rocked the rock n’ roll era with their guitars like Alvin Lee.1 Even at the age of 67, just a year before his demise, he produced one of the finest albums of his five-decade long career with Still on the Road to Freedom. 2 Strikingly flamboyant with his guitar, Lee gained millions of admirers around the world with hits like “I’d Love to Change the World”, “On the Road to Freedom” and “Freedom for the Stallion” which reflected popular worldviews at the time of their release. 3

Alvin Lee began playing guitar at an early age, and was influenced by his parents’ passion for music and inspired by the likes of Chuck Berry and Scotty Moore. 4 Lee started his career as the lead vocalist and guitarist in a band named the Jaybirds at the famous Marquee Club in London in 1962.5 A few years later the band changed its name to Ten Years After and released its debut album under the new name. 6 Lee’s lightning fast guitar playing at the Woodstock Festival gained him instant stardom and Lee was asked to tour the US. 7 In the coming years, he worked with rock legends like Mylon LeFevre, George Harrison, Steve Winwood, Ronnie Wood and Mick Fleetwood and released the country rock masterpiece On the Road to Freedom which brought him overwhelming trans-Atlantic popularity. 8 In subsequent years, he continued addressing social and global issues in albums like A Space in Time, Pump Iron!,

Let It Rock and Rocket Fuel. 9 With many of his songs, such as, “I’d Love to Change the World”, Lee used the power of rock music to show his solidarity with ordinary people and their worldviews. 10 He also went on with inspiring the upcoming generations of rock stars by producing expressive and tasteful guitar performances in his 1980s albums Free Fall, RX5 and Detroit Diesel. 11

Questions

5. Which sentence in the second paragraph is the least relevant to the
main idea of the second paragraph?

a. 4
b. 5
c. 6
d. 7

6. Which of the following changes is/are needed in sentence 6?

a. A few years later, the band changed its name to Ten Years After and
released its debut album under the new name.
b. A few years later, the band changed its name to Ten Years After, and
released its debut album under the new name.
c. A few years later the band changed its name to Ten Years After, and
released its debut album under the new name.
d. A few years later, the band changed its name to Ten Years After and,
released its debut album under the new name.

7. Which of the following sentences, if inserted before sentence 11,
would best illustrate the main idea of the passage?

a. His charismatic personality earned him more fame and led him to perform
even better for the sake of his admirers.
b. As he gained popularity because of his artistic creations he tried to implant
political motives into his music.
c. At the same time, he thought of doing something for the future generations.
d. With the creative songs he composed, he established himself as an exemplary
figure among fellow guitarists and the generations that followed.

8. Which of the following changes are needed to sentence 11?

a. He also went on inspiring the upcoming generations of rock stars by
producing expressive and tasteful guitar performances in his 1980s albums Free Fall, RX5 and Detroit Diesel.
b. He also went on to inspire the upcoming generations of rock stars by
producing expressive and tasteful guitar performances in his 1980s albums Free Fall, RX5 and Detroit Diesel.
c. He also went with inspiring the upcoming generations of rock stars by
producing expressive and tasteful guitar performances in his 1980s albums Free Fall, RX5 and Detroit Diesel. .
d. He also went on to inspiring the upcoming generations of rock stars by
producing expressive and tasteful guitar performances in his 1980s albums Free Fall, RX5 and Detroit Diesel.

Answer Key

1. B
Sentence 6 is a fragment. “At least, according to Zach Manchester, the inventor of the nano-satellite KickSat.”  This sentence fails to complete the thought, even though it is somewhat consistent with the previous sentence.

Sentence 6 does not have a subject and thus does not form any main clause which is essential for constructing a complete thought. This fragment can be revised as “At least, this is according to Zach Manchester, the inventor of the nano-satellite KickSat.”

2. B
Suggested changes to Sentence 4 to reduce redundancy, “However, the days when each of us will have our own personal spacecraft are truly not far away!”  The adjectives “own” and “personal” are used simultaneously. Either of them can be used, and the other
must be eliminated. The correct form will be either one of the following:

• However, the days when each of us will have our own spacecraft are truly not far away!
• However, the days when each of us will have our personal spacecraft are truly not far away!

3. C
The revised version of sentence 2 is, “In fact, at this point, it seems impossible to think about personal satellites now – just as we once thought about smart phones.”  This option uses the correct punctuation; two commas, one before and one after the subordinate conjunction “at this point” which bridges the adverbial clause after it with the adjective at the start of the sentence. Also the use of a hyphen to express extended thought is correct in option C.

4. D
The only option with correct grammar is option D. It replaces “more tiny” with “tiny” as well as “cubic shaped” with “cube-shaped”. Tinier is the correct comparative form of “tiny” and “cubic” is the adjective that must describe the singular noun “shape”, not “shapes” or any of its verbal forms. Two word adjectives, such as “a 3-mile race” are hyphenated.  “Under its compact design” is incorrect. Replace with, “with its compact design … “

5. A
Sentence 4 is least relevant, “Alvin Lee began playing guitar at an early age, and was influenced by his parents’ passion for music and inspired by the likes of Chuck Berry and Scotty Moore.”  This sentence talks about Lee’s source of motivation rather than his achievements, which is actually the main topic of the paragraph. Other sentences are related to a significant extent, but this sentence deviates from the main idea the most.

6. A
The edited version of sentence 6 is, “A few years later, the band changed its name to Ten Years After and released its debut album under the new name.” Option A places a comma after the prepositional phrase “A few years later” that expresses time. No other  punctuation is necessary for a coordinate conjunction “and” as proposed by options B and C since the clause “released its debut album under the new name” is a subordinate rather than an independent one. Option D offers an incorrect suggestion, placing
a comma after “and.”

7. D
The following sentence, if inserted  after sentence 11, “With the songs he composed, he established himself as an exemplary figure among fellow guitarists and the immediate generation that followed” best illustrates the main idea of the passage. This sentence best complements the other sentences and the main idea of the passage which concentrates on the impact Alvin Lee has made on his admirers and contemporaries with his skills and creations. The emphasis of the passage is on how he influenced them with his guitar work and that is complemented best if the sentence by option D before sentence 11.

8. B
Suggested changes to sentence 11 are, “He also went on to inspire upcoming generations of rock stars by producing expressive and tasteful guitar performances in his 1980s albums. Free Fall, RX5 and Detroit Diesel.” The correction offered in option B is the only appropriate one since the gerund form of “inspire” is not appropriate when starting the action. In this case, the author expresses initiation of the process of inspiring more than one generation. So, rather than continuing an already started process, this sentence refers to beginning of an additional process of inspiring as indicated by “also”. The gerund form is used rather when the action represented by the verb is in a continuous process already in motion.  Therefore, the to-infinitive must be used. As a result option A can be eliminated. Options C and D

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Order Upper Level ISEE – PDF Download Version – $14.99 PDF Download Version of Printed Version. Download after purchase. No shipping!  No Waiting!

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    1 Comment

  1. Julia kennedy
    December 4, 2017
    Reply

    this is totally useful for people who don t know English.

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